Friday, June 24

Compared to recent days, today was pretty tame. Nothing was planned. That is to say, we planned to do nothing. Well, the gals wanted to do a little errand running, but I've planned to do nothing.

I woke up around 9AM to find the hotel room empty. There was a note on the table beside the bed telling me the girls were in the restaurant and that I should join them when I was ready. I shook off the sleepiness, and as I dressed I recalled a story Claire had told about a time when she worked at a copy shop.

On the copy shop's order form was a place to put the desired time to receive the copies. This, of course, was for larger orders, such as those where pamphlets or booklets were being printed or bound, usually in the hundreds. Paraphrasing for brevity, when customers put “ASAP” in the time, they would be prioritized at the end of the pile where dates had been provided. Obviously, “possible” meant when you were done with the other tasks, right?

With this story in mind, I took my time getting ready. Not too much time, but there wasn't any hurry in my step. I brushed my teeth and ran water through my hair, vowing to shower after breakfast. I picked some clothes and changed, and put on shoes. I checked the room for a key, and after not finding one (we seem to have misplaced one of the two we were given), I surrendered, more hungry than obstinate, and left in search of sustenance.

The gals were sitting at one of the usual tables along the window. I confirmed that the news had been shared, and learned that Claire had made two treks from the room, going first to the other mother's room, Mac in hand, to show her the e-mail and start tracking the package. Evidently, the package had already been to Hong Kong and Incheon (in the outskirts of Seoul), South Korea, and was already in Guam! Despite traveling a lot of the Pacific over night, it was in the neighboring island nation.

She was, of course, excited. We chatted about what we expect from the embassy here, and agreed that it wasn't much. We had no information that the package had left Guam, or when it was due here, and assumed that even if it did make it to Majuro today, it would arrive on the flight after business hours, and that no one would want to fetch it to deliver it late tonight or tomorrow. Further, no one was checking flights to Hawaii or beyond for space, so it didn't matter how soon we got it.

That is a good reason, we decided, to have some information about when packages are expected to arrive. Now that we know it's on the way, it's possible to start checking for seats, and to possibly give the airline or travel agents a timeline to watch for cancelations or whatever. Our return tickets are still two full weeks out, although we fully expect to be on different flights. You can't book open-ended return flights, after all, and two sets of one-way flights is cost-prohibitive. We did pay extra for flexibility, so we'll (in theory) have no additional fees when we change our tickets, but we still have no guarantees that there will be seats on any planes, except the ones on which we already have reservations. And because of this uncertainty, we didn't spring the extra few hundred dollars for first-class both ways. Because there are far fewer first-class seats on all of the planes, it's much less certain that they'd have room on flights we hadn't reserved, and while they might find room for us, they probably wouldn't refund the difference. Instead, we have to hope there's enough room when we do try to fly that we can again upgrade (we have way too many frequent-flyer miles).

They talked about what to do today, and decided that they had to visit the shop that they got their first handicraft lessons and settle their bill. They also wanted to hit a couple of the previously un-visited shops (were there any?) and see what might be left to be seen. They also wanted to stop by the handicraft supply store they'd learned about yesterday and see what was to be seen there.

I was offered the option of tending Grace at the hotel or assisting them in their shopping. I chose Grace and the hotel room. We broke from breakfast and returned to our rooms, so the gals could prepare for the day. Just before the agreed-upon time, the other mother stopped by to say she was going to put her boy down for a little nap before they went out, so he'd be a little less likely to turn fussy. This led to a little longer delay, but it was an agreeable delay as it had started heavily raining.

While we waited, Claire asked me to go over the stuff she'd already bought, to make sure we had enough for the people who'd been helping us with the house watching and other while-we're-gone things. Gotta bring your kids stuff from vacations you go on, to rub in that you went on vacation without them, right?

She also checked and learned that the package we can track has been noted as leaving the facility in Guam. We checked the flight schedule we'd found earlier in our visit, at the Ministry of Visitor Affairs, and deciphered that the flight it could be on wouldn't arrive until close to 8PM. We also noted that the tracking said it left the facility, not the country, so perhaps it was between sorting building and airport or something, too.

Nap-time ended about the same time as the rain, so the gals took off for other parts of the island. Grace had since fallen asleep, so I turned on the Discovery Channel and grabbed the Mac for some much-needed catching-up. I did a quick e-mail scan, found nothing new, and then settled into filling out the last few days of blog posts.

I had decided, and warned Claire, that when housekeeping came, I'd scoop Grace and probably the Mac and head to the lobby or restaurant, depending on timing. We had visitors yesterday, so we passed on the housekeeping offer, and during the post-swim showering debacle yesterday, someone fouled our bathroom.

What went on in the bathroom is beyond me, but there was water everywhere when they were done. I'd wiped down all of the surfaces after they were done with towels. At the time, it seemed to be only water everywhere, but over night the room filled with a rank odor. The kind where you turn away from that public restroom and decide to risk the time to drive to the next town on your road trip. The kind where I actually checked the tank to make sure we hadn't been double-decked. It made us contemplate that perhaps that had something to do with the kerfuffle that went on yesterday. It was bad enough that I considered taking Grace with me to the hardware store across the street to purchase cleaning supplies to clean it myself. I almost did so just to not be that unkind to housekeeping, and to keep them from thinking it was us!

As such, I was rather excited when the knock came on the door, and I nearly hurt myself in my haste to not let housekeeping get away. It wasn't housekeeping, though. It was the other Junior from Tuesday's visit. I opened the door, and as is apparently OK in Marshallese custom, he just walked in before I had a chance to ascertain the reason for his visit. He kicked off his shoes and sat on the other sofa, and asked what was going on. I told him I was just tending to sleeping Grace, typing on my Mac, and watching something on television, and he said that was alright.

I decided I didn't want to find out the right way to un-invite him in ('though I hadn't really invited him in anyway), so I said he could hang out until housekeeping knocked, and then we'd all have to leave so they could get in and work without skipping parts for fear of disturbing Grace or me. He seemed to agree. He just tuned into the television and eventually fell asleep. I picked up the Mac and continued typing.

After a while more, housekeeping did knock. I scurried about, moving stuff off the bed that Claire had left there, putting shoes on, making a quick bottle, and otherwise getting ready. It took three or four passes and leg tappings to get Junior to wake enough to leave the room with me.

It was mid-afternoon, so I told Junior I was gonna go get some iced tea in the restaurant, and Grace willing, keep typing on the Mac. She had stirred, but continued sleeping through the hustle out of the room. As I went downstairs, I realized I'd forgotten the cell phone, but I didn't want to try juggling anything, so I continued without it. Junior followed, slowly loosing ground, almost so much so that I didn't think he was going to follow me to the restaurant.

When I got to the restaurant, I saw our occasional chatter partner, Uncle Sam. I greeted him and took a table next to him. Junior slowly joined, so I introduced them. I'm not sure if it was fatigue or shyness, but Junior didn't say anything for the rest of the time there, until he was ready to leave. I ordered an ice tea, and gestured for Junior to order, and he asked for a soda. When she returned, I asked for a slice of the apple pie with ice cream, as Uncle Sam had, and gestured to Junior again. I mostly expected him to get the same, after the experience on Tuesday, when the boys said they'd get whatever I said they'd get.

Uncle Sam and I visited for a while. He's a retired Marine, recently moved to Majuro, waiting for his family to join him from Manilla. I joked he should ask them to bring our papers, but they won't be here until next Friday. We chatted a bit about the embassy workings, and how he thinks the whole thing is a bit of a CF. He's relocating to Majuro to try to help get his wife to Hawaii, as her visa was denied from the Philippines, and they have to wait two years to reapply!

We chatted about our different experiences in the service. He shared that his Marine drill instructor was none other than then-Corporal R. Lee Ermey, of movie and television fame. Of course, at the time, he was just Corporal Ermey. As many do, he truly hated his boot camp instructor, and said he was tamed down for Full Metal Jacket, but that he got a little bit of a kick watching him get it from the broken recruit in the film. We commiserated that we're better for the experience, and realized in hindsight that it was all done to make us better servicemen.

Grace woke up during this, and so we chatted about our families a bit. We told each other that neither of us look as old as we are. He's got a son just a few years younger than I am. We both lamented that things were a little out of order in our youth, but congratulated each other for coming out looking so good. While perhaps a bit undesired at the time, or at the very least just ill-timed, it made us who we are, and it seems we're both great guys.

After a while the waitress brought me a scoop of ice cream, and an apology that they'd run out of apple pie. This has happened for a few different things, where they don't have what you want. Usually we ask first, because, like this, sometimes they'll make their own substitutions, or they'll tell you and let you change your mind about the missing part of whatever you ordered, but then still bring you the complementary bits of what they didn't have! I had asked if they had any more pie, and was assured they did, but evidently between that ask and the delivery of the ice cream, they'd run out. I didn't really need pie anyway, so I said it was OK, and accepted just the ice cream. Since Grace was awake, it'd be hard to eat pie anyway.

We chatted more, and then they brought out Junior's hamburger. I wasn't quite sure I'd offered to buy the guy lunch, but at the same time, wasn't put out by it either. I'd not been clear with my ordering a dessert as a snack and then gesturing, so again, I let it roll.

While Junior ate, and I picked at my ice cream and chatted with Uncle Sam, Grace got hungry, too, so I made use of the bottle I'd brought and fed her. All was going swell. Good chatting, even if Junior was shyly just smiling when I'd mention him or the others. I'm not sure what the Marshallese etiquette is for joining a conversation, but he wasn't taking any of my inclusive statements or queries as opportunities to join in. Maybe he didn't want to, or maybe he didn't feel right doing it. I did, though, try to make it seem like he was meant to be there, more than he just tagged along.

After a bit, Grace started getting a little uncomfortable. It'd been more than an hour since we'd joined Uncle Sam, and she was sporting some full bottoms. Uncle Sam used it as an opportunity to excuse himself, too. I told Junior I'd be right back, and that I just needed to change Grace. I also said I was gonna put my Mac back in the room, since I wasn't likely to type on it now that Grace was awake. I took Grace and made a quick change, and returned, just about as fast as possible. Junior had finished his burger and was on his way out of the restaurant as I got back to the door. He thanked me for the hanging out and for lunch, and asked if he should come back the same time tomorrow. I told him I didn't know what we were doing, but that we didn't have any plans with anyone. I probably should have outright said “no,” but other than just “no,” I wasn't sure how to politely say so.

I hadn't paid yet, and so returned to the restaurant. The waitress was just clearing the table, and saw me coming back. She apologized and put my tea back, but cleared the rest. I gave her a “no worries” and said I just had to change a diaper. I sat and drank a little more tea, but after a while missed the Mac, so I paid my bill and returned to the room.

Grace happily cooed next to me on the sofa for a while. I typed and posted some blog stuff and typed some more. Enough time passed that she got hungry again, so I changed her and fed her, and she was just dozing off, as she does, when another knock came at the door. I got to the one door just in time to hear a knock at the other. This made me a little irked, as the only people to do that so far have been the kids who knock and then ask for a dollar. It turned out to be Claire, who'd just change doors thinking I hadn't heard, not that it had taken me that long to get up with Grace in-hand. During the shuffling, Grace had drifted away from sleep, and was happy to play with mom for a little bit.

Claire shared a little bit of what went on with their day, mostly showing me the big box she'd been given to ship stuff home in, and showing me new purchases. Then she said that the gals were starving, having skipped lunch, and wanted to go to the restaurant for cheeseburgers. I started to tell her about my visit with Junior and my time in the restaurant, but decided it was amusing enough to share with both adopting moms.

We met up with the other mother, and shared our days. I learned that it seems to be the Marshallese custom to barge in when doors are opened. Our experience so far with our birthmother and family has been much more as we'd expect, where the door is opened, brief pleasantries exchanged including an invitation in, and then entry. We chatted about ways to try to handle turning away unexpected visitors, and agreed that we'll probably just have to be abrupt and clear.

We decided we're both glad and sad that the day-long visits happened so late in our trip. Sad because we're mostly enjoying the time with our birthmother, even with the language barrier; it seems a good bonding time even though we can't have any long conversations. We're a little glad because we're not sure that we've set the right kind of boundaries in these last few visits, and from what we've heard from the other adopting families, including the mother sitting with us at dinner, it's hard to reign in any sort of control after those first events occur. We feel very much like our birthmother has respected the hard parts of our journey, like being away from home, needing to bond with Grace, and so on. We've also tried to respect the hard parts of her journey, like separating from Grace, getting to know us, and so on.

It's very clear that Grace has bonded with us, and we with her, and that we're happy and balanced and all kinds of good family dynamic stuff. It's also clear that our birthmother is comfortable with all of that, and seems happy that we're grooving so early and so fast. She's said, through interpreters not her brothers, that she likes seeing the way we interact with each other and Grace. I think we've gotten to know each other a little, our birthmother and us, but wish we could have had more time just chatting. What little we know of her, past, present, and aspirations, we've gotten from others, mostly from bubu, who I think also understands the family-building we're trying to make happen. Still, I feel like we've bonded more with her brothers just through the couple of days of interacting with associated chatter. I know we know the other adopting mother and her family so much better than our birthmother and her family, just because we've been able to chat.

We ordered cheeseburgers, and the other adopting mother ordered fried rice. We asked and discovered they had the fixings for the fried banana sundae dessert, so we got two of those, too. Claire and I split one, and the other mother had about half of hers. They're pretty big. They weren't as good as the first time, but they were good.

After dessert, as Claire took a freshly fussing Grace out for a stroll in the warm, a friendly woman from the table next to ours came over and said hello. She asked if we were adopting Marshallese babies. We said we were. She then asked if we were adopting twins, or if they weren't related. The other adopting mother and I responded that we weren't a couple, but were a pair of adopting families. She then asked if Claire was with the agency, so I explained that she was my wife, and was tending to our daughter, and reiterated that she wasn't related to the other boy, but just that we were friends who met while here, doing the same thing.

We all had a friendly titter over the table math error. No harm meant or done. She explained she and her group were missionaries and that she had a son who was considering adopting from here, too. She didn't want to be rude, but wanted to know if the amount she'd heard was accurate. We confirmed that was a good estimate, and that travel and time spent here after the adoption was on top of that amount. We explained also that we were from different agencies, and that the agency Claire and I used was the only one currently involved with adoptions, at least in the U.S. Claire returned and joined in, but the conversation was all but over. She returned to her table, we recapped for Claire, chuckled, and decided to call dinner done.

As we left, the gals decided to at least drop by an event that was happening at the hotel. One of the women at one of the shops had invited them, so they thought it would be rude to not make it to an event at the end of the hallway from our rooms. They were going to make their appearance, do a quick assessment, and if necessary use the kids and the hour as an excuse to leave after being friendly if they didn't get caught up in it. I returned to the room, and let Claire in just a few minutes later. Evidently island time was working there, as the room hadn't even been set-up, even though it was after the event's scheduled start time. They had run into someone, and explained their invitation, and made their polite exit.

Claire did a quick e-mail check, and was disappointed to see that the package's status hadn't changed since 11AM. It was still last marked as leaving the facility in Guam. Since it was well past 8PM, and we'd expect to see it had either left Guam or arrived in Majuro if that had happened, we figured it hadn't.

We set up our little Mac-based entertainment center. That is, we put the Mac on a chair in front of the two-seat sofa. We settled in with the first DVD from the second season of The Big Bang Theory and tried to let Grace relax into sleep or dinner or whatever. She was awake, but not really playful. She wasn't quite fitful, but would bore easily in various positions. After a while, we determined she was having a hard time transitioning into both tired and hungry, so with some effort, Claire finally got her to eat and fall asleep. After two short false-starts, she finally went down for the night. We finished half of the DVD, and Claire went down. I'm finishing this, and then I'm going, too.