I lamented over the title and tease, but that's how (then) President Trump announced his COVID results, as demonstrated by Sarah Cooper.
We learned later last night that our tests were all negative, so none of us has COVID. The kids were elated to hear it and scurried to get ready for school. I dropped them off, and made apologies at the little little's school for missing the kick-off day.
While thankful for our diligence, they seemed surprised that we'd keep them out until we heard. I suppose one could take that as unfettered optimism, and that you'd assume a negative test until you heard otherwise. Maybe in the middle of the season you might do that, figuring it wouldn't matter if the kids had been together before you tested; the test doesn't infect you, it just confirms one way or the other (with margins of error, in some cases).
Since it was the first day of the summer program, of course, it wasn't the case they were just together, so it made more sense to continue staying apart. At least it did to us.
All is well, the kids are away, the wife and I are settling in for a busy day of interruption-free work days!
Everyone is healthy, and confirmed!