On the drive home, I hit a sofa.

Well, really the guy next to me hit the sofa, but he hit it in such a way that it spun into my lane, just as my Jeep arrived. The other guy was a car length-and-a-half in front of me when he suddenly jammed on his brakes. I also hit mine, but not as hard, and started veering a little to the right, away from him. He pulled a little to the left and then stopped. Just as he did, the sofa he hit spun in front of me.

I was far enough over to avoid hitting the whole sofa, but did end up driving over a bit of it with all of the expected jostling and bouncing. There was plenty of squealing noise, smoke, and that unmistakable odor of burning rubber. I pulled the Jeep off the road to the shoulder to check for damage. The Jeep was fine. Tires seemed undamaged. The lights, fender, and front bumper seemed undamaged as well.

Looking back, none of the other vehicles that were there as I smacked the sofa were still around. The sofa, though, was still in the lane, and cars were still screeching when they came upon it in the dark. I decided to trot back and pull the sofa out of the way. I had the hazard lights blinking on the Jeep, my jacket has bright yellow bits, and while generally dark, there was a street light right over the debris.

I got to the sofa as a minivan was stuck, unable to go around the sofa. He'd apparently stopped just short of hitting it, and between the cars in the next lane and the ones passing him from behind, he couldn't make a move. I gave a little wave, grabbed the sofa and tugged it onto the shoulder. He kindly waited while I stepped back in front of him and moved a big hunk of wood (probably the broken-off arm) to the wreckage of the sofa. He gave a little wave back and drove off.

While I was pulling the sofa off, though, some jerk who was driving around the minivan gave an aggressive honk followed by an unfriendly gesture. Whatever, fella; not my sofa. Thanks for appreciating the effort, and otherwise handling the delay with such class and style.

I made it back to the Jeep without further event. turned off the hazards, merged back into traffic (probably unaware of the existence of the sofa), and made it home without further incident.