Had a nice visit with my mom.

She lives in a small town an hour or so from here, so we don't get out there very often. Had a nice sit and chat in her living room, went to the nearby pub for a tasty burger (like a Philly Cheesesteak, but with ground beef) and crispy crinkle cut fries. Yum.

She's been having trouble with her Jeep overheating. I tried to give her a lesson in what causes those kinds of things, keeping in mind what she's done to try to fix the problem. The Jeep is twenty-ish years old, with 158,000 miles on the engine. She's replaced the radiator and overflow tank, a few thermostats, and had the coolant changed more than once. I suggested a chemical or high pressure flush of the system as there are no symptoms of a coolant system crack (as suggested by the corner mechanic), other than the overheating. We talked about options for replacements, including handing down our Jeep (2004 Liberty), or purchasing a newer used or even new vehicle for her.

This conversation infuriates the girl child, who believes that for some reason she deserves to have a car, while my mom, being an adult, should be able to take care of herself. To some degree I agree with her at the second point; as adults we should be able to take care of ourselves. She's weird on the first point though; what makes a person believe they deserve to be given a car?

The point about adults being able to take care of themselves is a tricky one, and really it involves a scale. My mom takes care of herself pretty well, but she lives in a small town on a small wage, which usually meets her small needs. The big needs, like engine overhauling or vehicle replacement, tend to be outside her means.

The wife and I are fortunate enough to have excess means most of the time. We work hard for our money, and in return earn a goodly amount. We have excess at the sacrifice of not saving as much as we should, something of which most of us are guilty. While we don't have excess enough to plunk down for a new car, we have excess enough to assume a small car payment if it helps reduce the surprises brought on by massive failures of expensive systems in existing equipment.

To be sure, if given the opportunity, and possibly with our help, mom could probably handle a small enough car payment herself. This is the grey area the girl child clings to. She doesn't understand the nuances of finance. Heck, I barely understand the nuances of finance.

As for the girl child's claims of deserving a car, she's not yet earned her driver's license, as she hasn't met and maintained the high school grade criteria to which she agreed when looking becoming a licensed driver. Now that she's beyond that age, and most of her friends have licenses, if not cars, she's lamenting that agreement.

She seems to believe that our excess should go to add to her luxury and to make her life that much easier. I her tell that her brother, out on his own for the bulk of this year, has been suggesting that she suck it up and do what she has to do to get along and stay in our house as long as we'll let her.

It is hard out there, and it costs a lot. Teenagers, despite what they believe, do not have the opportunities to make comfortable livings straight out of high school. Sure, there are exeptions, but the rule is that they man the counters at our restaurants, gas stations, and retail outlets. They are paid wages that are hard to live on, 'cause most of 'em still live at home and aren't living on the wages, I suppose. It'll be a few years, I tell both of the kids, and a bit of school or other training, before a comfortable wage will be earned.

I tell them how it took me twenty years to get where I am, but they don't buy it. They've just always seen it, so that must be the way it has always been.