Perhaps a little quirky to see in a person's blog, but really this is a diatribe about things I observe and opine, not is not really, strictly about me. I've come about a need to "sell myself," in a non-job and non-prostitution way, and am finding a hard time describing me and mine in any manner that is both engaging and informative.

Just the other day, in fact, I'd been commenting to a dear friend that it's hard to write about a subject when put on the spot. Perhaps this is a little bit of that. When there's not the pressure of an assignment, it seems easy to blather on about all manner of subjects, but as soon as mandated to postulate on one topic in particular, the verbal piggy bank seems to be empty. Curiously, I seek that kind of precision in nailing down objectives for tasks at work, where ambiguity leads to spin and waste.

"I'm a big nerd," seems a rough place to start, but honestly, anyone that knows me would say the same thing, meant with love, I'm sure. Few will disagree with that statement as I tend toward all things nerdy. Go ahead and challenge me on your toughest computer problem, open a can of astronomy curiosity, or even stumble into some deep math issues, and I've probably got a solution or direction to one for you. It's probably the phrase that most blunt people will say about me, if not initially, certainly eventually. I'm smart; I know it, and I know you know it. I try to not make a big deal out of it, because, honestly, if I like you, you're probably smart as well, whether or not you know it. Coming out and just saying that, though, makes one sound a little wank-ish. Maybe a lot wank-ish, if the situation or proclamation allows.

I remember a comment the wife once made about men: paraphrased, in general when men speak they either brag or attempt to help. I extrapolated that to also convey that when they brag they brag about how they helped. Trying to either leverage and avoid that observation proves difficult.

This isn't really a place to offer any help, so that leaves bragging. I could brag about my accomplishments, pointing out when I helped or how I added some of my own form of brilliance or when I was right to begin with or how I avoided some stupidity...you know, the usual guy stuff. Taken by those that know me, I hope the humor more than the arrogance comes out.

The more I tried, however, the more it either came out like some kind of résumé, or like some braggart thumping his chest about how awesome he is, or both. I'm trying to convey "hey, I'm interesting enough to want to learn more about," instead it kept reading "I'm the best and you're not."

The introvert in me seems able to appear to be engaging, deflecting enough conversation to appear to have engaged, but in reality what I find I've done is describe something I'm associated with or familiar with, not my association or familiarity with it. This is becoming a boundary I'm able to identify, but not yet compromise.

I found it a little easier to write about the wife, but ran into a lot more of "I'm sure she doesn't want me to portray her that way" than the other. Really, she is the best of the two of us. Keeps me grounded; like Tom Cruise to my Dustin Hoffman, but with a much less selfish start. She's much better looking, more socially adept, thoughtful, devoted, graceful, and she likes to dance. And she's just as smart. She's a little less adventurous than I am (guess which one of us wants to dive with whale and great white sharks...), but accepts most opportunities for safe exploration (she's compromised to go on the boat, but not in the water...).

I'm not shilling for comments about how great I am, because I already know that.

Nor am I looking for descriptions of how modest I am, because I know that, too.

I'm just bragging that I figured out how hard it is to talk about yourself when it counts, and I hope that helps someone.